I’m living each day as it comes, unsure about what tomorrow holds, grasping only on my goals and aspirations because I know I’ll be there one day. To a larger extent, I know I have all it takes to be the person I want to be. I’m holding a future I’m not quite sure of yet the only leap of faith I have won’t let me give up. What do I do? Nothing much but believe that my creator will see me through whatever comes my way.
I’ve stepped on thorns, knocked my toes on the rocks hundreds of times as I trod my path of future possibilities. I still hold on. Honestly, if you’d ask me why I haven’t given up yet, I would quite give you a precise answer because I have thousands of them.
I Refuse To Give Up
It doesn’t mean that I’m a loser, or I’m not as strong as many believe I am. I know I’m very strong. At least I’ve heard that more than a thousand times. I’ve been given hundreds of reasons why I have what it takes to see myself through hardships.
I’m not quite sure if I have it all but still, I won’t give up. I’ve stared at blank walls and seen numerous images I could draw on a plain piece of paper. I’ve stared blankly to the skies and believed I’ve seen God’s image reveal itself to me.
Gosh! I have lots of stuff running in my mind at times I believe it’s too much for a young mother to have. What keeps me going? It’s the fact that every time I read the news, watch my surrounding or hear people talk; I give thanks to God for whatever I have. It has been my motivator – a very good reason to keep walking.
I’m Unsure of the Path to Take
I’ve taken the path trodden by many, I’ve also tried the path less trodden but to speak the truth, I’m not quite sure which path I should take. At times I wish someone led the way, and I follow closely behind but I want to lead too, I want to be my guide through the path.
I believe in God and His undying love for me yet at times I find myself questioning a lot of things. I don’t know why we go through a lot of pain. I’ve heard a lot say that it’s the good people that face hardships and suffering. Why? I’m no saint, but I’m no demon either. Anything in between, I’ll take it if you call me that. We’ve all had our fair share of good and bad after all, so I’m just one out of millions.
Why Do I Write?
It gives me a peace of mind. It’s just my way of relieving myself of what I feel. At least I’m not channeling my pain to less productive things; this is a time I need the Blessed Virgin to intercede for me the most.
If you’d ask me what I wanted a year ago, I’d proudly tell you. Presently, I don’t know. Not that I don’t know what I want, but at times I feel that I’ve not quite yet achieved what I wanted to.
End of the year is here again. I have lots to talk about; what about what I want the most? Not yet. Should I be patient some more? Does everything happen at its own time?